AS 26, 2C - New York Joshua

I almost always take a redeye from SEA->JFK on Alaska, usually flight AS 26 which departs at 1130pm and arrives at both an ungodly early hour if I’ve adjusted to Pacific Time, and a normal morning if it’s an Eastern Time. I tend to get lucky with the upgrades, as the flight isn’t too in-demand and I end up in Premium, or often First Class. Regardless of seat assignment, I find the space, physical, mental, and emotional, ripe for digesting my feelings. Alas, as I type this from 2C on a 737Max, I reflect on my current state, and journey. This one will be more scattered than usual, as I’m a feeling a bit frazzled.

Looking back at my previous blog posts and taking stock of my memories and values, I’ll travel to Seattle for someone that matters to me. Whether that’s celebrating for a wedding, finding time to see specifc people, cheering on a beloved team with friends, or something else, I’ve only recently realized the level of intentionality I put on my trips to Seattle. I will always, always try to maximize my trips with multiple interactions. This trip was to see a friend’s newborn, amongst other things.

I don’t know if I have ever truly associated myself with New York City, until now. I was not born here, and though I have fallen in love with the bustling nature of the city, it’s only been 2.5 years since I said, “Welcome to New York”. When someone asks me where I’m from, I proudly say Issaquah (or sometimes, Bellevue, to make myself seem more high class and affluent than I am). All of the sports teams that I affiliate myself with are from Seattle. My alma mater is Washington, perhaps more than just literally. But for the first time in my life, someone else labeled me as “New York Joshua,” at which I chuckled at. A new character in my story and I in theirs, they only know me as someone who lives in New York, yet I hesitate to accept the sobriquet. Am I a New Yorker? Maybe it’s the endless quality food options, the diversity of people I meet, or perhaps the haute Style? My heart may be Seattle, but that hasn’t stopped me from loving New York.

To start this upcoming February, I’ll be headed down south for a Royal Caribbean cruise, ironically on the same cruise line my sister performed shows on. I’m headed to, you guessed it, the Caribbean. I am so, so proud of my sister. She continues to push herself in her Wushu career, accomplishing and achieving beyond my Wildest Dreams. Some good friends whom I met in my church community group in NYC are getting married, and asked me to officiate their wedding. I don’t think I’ll ever say “no” to participating in a wedding as, in my eyes, it marks a monumental relationship either past or present. I’m flattered, honored, and thankful for the times someone asks me to be in their wedding, whether it’s a friendship that has sprouted in the past few years, or longtime buddies who shared impactful stages of life with me. I’ve never officiated a wedding before.

I’m grieving over something that, although not established, nor lengthy, nor labeled, I cared about. Is It Over Now? Grief is a tough feeling to have. I was going to say it’s one of the worst feelings, but having something to grieve over means you’ve appreciated and valued something, and in this moment, while that’s an upsetting feeling, I’d also argue that having those things that matter to you (whether kept or lost) is a core tenet to living. I put a lot of effort into things I care about, and I’m sad when things don’t work out in the way I dream about. The existential questioning of what and why I care about things is beyond my capacity right now, but I know I’m feeling sad about loss.

This week is Spotify’s Wellness Week, which they give employees off to “be well”. Many people use the week to take a free vacation; last year I used the time to get my medical, dental, vision, etc. checkups. This year, I’ll do the same, but am hoping to take some time to really feel what my goals in this upcoming year are. I regret not setting more goals in 2023, as I felt like I fell short of things I wanted to do and the person I wanted to be.

Below are some questions I hope to think about during this week. I doubt I’ll ever find true answers, but at least they’ll spark some conversations and thoughts.

  • What am I looking for in a relationship? I’ve been on quite a few dates in the past years, but some meant significantly more to me than others. I would like to have some stronger sense of a checklist. I suppose step one is identifying How You Get the Girl.

  • What makes a good friendship? What nurtures a healthy one? What kills one?

  • Who do I want to be in 2024? What do I want to achieve? How do I want to treat people? What will make a “successful” 2024?

The last time I truly cried, bawling with tears flowing down my face, was on my very last day of high school. I don’t like that, because the typical comment after that is, “did I peak in high school?” I truly did love high school and am blessed to have had four incredible years surrounded by a community that cared. I adored my classmates, I genuinely appreciated the teachers, and was invested across a variety of activities. The last day of school I remember sitting on a concrete ledge to the left of my high school’s entrance, crying because the adventure I loved was over, and I didn’t know what was next. Luckily, I headed off to the local university where additional friendships were formed.

this is out of date, the last time I cried is now only two days ago, after Cal Raleigh hit his game-winning homerun to break the Seattle Mariners’ 21 year drought of the playoffs

//

I often find myself writing on planes and tonight, the opportunity sits ripe yet again. I’ll usually be leaving from or heading to events I’m excited for which evokes a jambalaya of emotion and thoughts. Most flights, I’m limited to offline access unless I want to chuck a few more dollars to capitalistic ‘Murica to fiddle around Instagram and reddit. Because I typically take red-eye flights, I find myself conflicted about paying for the internet knowing I wont get good usage out of it. 

Well, as I crosstrek back to New York City on a redeye flight fresh off of an incredibly wholesome weekend, I’d be a fool not to take advantage of the time and space to reflect. A close high school friend who helped plan our 10yr Issaquah High School reunion snoozes to my left in 6A, I in 6C, while the seat between us fortunately sits unreserved. Ignoring my liver’s cry, I sip a can of wine while yet another play of Taylor’s All Too Well (10min version) streams through my headphones.

//

One of my favorite writers often ends his musings with “Life is so rich.” Such a simplistic sentence, yet it provokes so much of what I’ve started to define as success. I spent less than 72 jampacked hours in my hometown, spending every second savoring connections I’ve made. While I never am able to see everyone I hope to, my time visiting Seattle is almost always a refreshing shot of vigor into my life. Coffee to the soul, if you will. 

All three of the events I traveled for were joyful celebrations. While my late twenties are sprinting by, I’ve become more and more aware of how blessed I am to live the life I am living every day and let the investments across relationships, connections, and love continue to pay dividends.

  1. Issaquah High School, Class of 2012’s 10 year High School Reunion surpassed every single expectation I had. As far as I know, most people don’t go to their high school reunions for a variety of reasons. Yet on Saturday, about 100 people showed up; a mix of former classmates, spouses, kids, dogs took the time to traverse across the depths of hell the 520 bridge despite hours of traffic, to reach a brewery that some ambitious high school classmates rented out. I was shocked not only by how many people showed up, but also by the amount of sheer joy, pure laughter, fond memories, and reminiscence. Unlimited beer may have helped, but I can’t put into words how much seeing these old friends show up brought an inexplicable sense of happiness to my soul. There were memories I had forgotten about, and families that I hadn’t met yet. People came from around the state (and beyond) just to connect with classmates they hadn’t seen in years. I don’t think this is normal, and nor do I expect this out of most high schools, but one of the senses I got from my high school class is that there was a sense of community and unity amongst ourselves, uncommon to most. I vividly remember crying the last day of high school, sad that it was “over,” and yet I was able to celebrate and reconnect with people I hadn’t seen since that day. I am so genuinely happy, proud, and excited for everyone I saw there. Hearing stories of their endeavors and lives since has grounded me in abundant joy. I had to leave a little earlier than I liked, given that I had another plan that night, but will cherish the time I had with each of the people there.

On top of that, I had dinner with some friends on Monday evening who drove across the water (yet again) to eat Thai food in our high school hometown. Laughs were had, and I am forever thankful for the effort people in my high school friend group make in keeping in touch.

2. The Washington Huskies football team had a frustrating year in 2021, leading to a much anticipated coaching change this year. In college, football games are a social event as much as a viewing spectacle, and having moved to the Bay Area for four years and now New York City, I rarely get to experience my university’s team in person. Luckily, they were in town this weekend and I was generously gifted an extra ticket by a close couple I keep in touch with. The game unfortunately was at the same time at my high school reunion. After I had made a few rounds at the brewery, I ubered up to the stadium anticipating more reconnections, but this time with college friends.. I arrived at the half and spent a quarter with each of the two couples. On the northwest end of Husky Stadium, I shared laughs with a friend I play video games weekly with, and his wife who was my neighbor in college, plus their sibling and friends who I knew in college. After the 3rd ended, I headed up to the southeast corner of the stadium, where I reconnected with a couple who were in a Christian fellowship I occasionally attended on Tuesdays and Thursdays in college. I also played flag football with Danny, and we chuckled over routes we’d draw up in flag football while our football team demolished Stanford on the field was an absolute treat. I don’t get to see either of these couples in person nearly as much as I wish I could, but I savor the moments I spend with them.


After the game ended, I headed to Ballard where I was initiated into the Kangaroo and Kiwi culture with a short stop at Shingletown. Thank God these places weren’t around when I was in college, as if Earls and Wells Wednesdays weren’t enough. Before I knew it, it was 2am in Seattle (which is equivalent to 5am on the east coast… not sure how I stayed awake) and I needed to get home.

3. Wedding Szn is upon me as someone in my late-twenties, and I was extremely lucky to have had my high school reunion conveniently the same weekend I was invited to this wedding. Okay, I may have had some hands in the strategic planning for that. I don’t know if the groom of the wedding remembers, but the first time I met him I was upset with him for not running out a ball in our fraternity’s intramural softball game. Somehow, I was able to connect with him over baseball cards and F1, and I graciously attended his and his now-wife’s wedding celebration this weekend. The bride has a fantastically curated sense of creativity and it was well apparent at the wedding venue- each table was thoughtfully organized and named after things they had in common. For me, tens of my fraternity brothers and our sorority neighbors from which the bride was a part of, we sat at a table named after the street our houses were on. How cool is that? There were probably twenty guys from my fraternity at the wedding and while I was close with some and distant with others, I treasured getting to hear what each of them is up to. I am so, so proud of the people they have become, the careers they lead, and the relationships they continue to build. When I joined my fraternity in 2012-13, I never thought that it would lead to this level of connection and, literally, fraternization. On top of that, the wedding was beautiful. I can’t get over the unique touches in the planning that were so meticulously organized and well-executed. I’m happy for the couple (thought they’ve technically been married for a while because of COVID), and am confident that they are the best versions of themselves with each other.

I stayed this entire weekend with my parents at my childhood home. When I woke up this morning, my mom gave me a plate of apples to eat while I worked and took calls from home. She put a little bathtoy with a picture of me (as a baby) and my dad in my bathroom so I could see it. While it’s a little cheesy, I smiled when I saw it. I shared with them my thankfulness for the events I was allowed to experience above, all of which really are spawned out of a loving home that they created for me and my sister.


The leaves outside are beginning to turn to shades of burnt orange with streaks of lightning and hints of auburn. Fall in the most beautiful place in the world is around the corner yet again. I embark back to the concrete jungle, where I’ll head straight into the office, inserting myself back into the machinery that is Corporate America.

Perhaps I too may end this writing both quoting and truly embodying the words of Scott Galloway, Life is so rich. 

I am so lucky and thankful to have the life I have with the connections I’ve made. While I’ve written these words on paper, I canot articulate the emotions that have positively overwhelmed me this weekend. I am grateful for so many people who I have had the fortune to cross paths with. It is well with my soul.

Joshua

Time spent writing this: 4x plays of ATW 10min version, 1x New Year’s Day, 2x Cornelia Street, 2x It Is Well (live) by Bethel.

2022 Mid Year Check-in

In somewhat of a public diary, let’s take a look at the things we’ve done, the things we still want to do, and the things we have put to the side. Why do I talk about myself in the third person in the overview, but first person in the actual writing? Who is to say.

Quick H1 life updates

  • Started work at Spotify

    • After a frustratingly painful time in eCommerce, I’m remarkably thankful to be back in Tech. It’s comfortable, my senior manager is superb, and I’m challenged. 10/10 upgrade, and I’m not looking back. It’s nice to have trajectory.

  • Got the ‘Rony

    • It wasn’t awful, but still quite a nuisance. Very grateful I got it out of the way before Italy, though.

  • Italy trip

    • Unbelievably grateful to have experienced that with my closest friends, celebrating our former roommate as he got married.

Let’s take a look at what we’ve accomplished

Done, as of July 11th , 2022

  • take subjective risks

    • go on (a) date(s)

      • Gone on three first-dates. To be honest, I’m really proud of myself for this one, as it’s been a lesser priority for the past four or five years. While the people I’ve met have been wholesome, kind, and brilliant, I haven’t felt much chemistry with anyone in particular yet.

    • push my body to reach maximums in the gym

      • I’ve benched a new maximum, squatted a new maximum, and am definitely hitting the gym on the most consistent basis than I have since college.

        • While I haven’t lost a significant amount of weight, I feel (and AM) stronger physically.

  • specific conscious savings

    • consciously start to save for a future wedding ring (? lmao)

      • Continual journey, but putting aside a few investments every now and then in hopes of selling them for when I need to buy a ring.

      • Also did a poll within friends of how much someone in their late-twenties in a large metropolis can expect to spend on a ring. The median and mode answers were $10K USD. Zoinks, scoobs!

  • be my best self in Italy (June 2022)

  • narrow down the card collection

    • Soto, Curry, Griffey, Leclerc/Ferrari

      • This has been relatively easy because of the economy. Selling has been easy, though not at the prices I ideally want. Still working on acquiring some nice JRods and Trouts, but Leclerc, Griffey, Soto, and Curry anchor my personal collection.

  • get to know my neighbors and doormen/women

    • really i just want them to know that i care for them and value them

      • tbd on how to show this

    • This is also an ongoing effort. I celebrated my two favorite late-night doormen/women by making Lemon Bars for their birthday. They thoroughly enjoyed that, and I hope to do things like that more. I actively will continue to make an effort to say “hello” and go beyond the quick formalities when walking by.

  • continue active effort into further understanding the following concepts, (continue work w therapist, close friends on these)

    • feminism from a male pov

    • wealth privilege

    • male privilege

    • why i so often feel the need to be contrarian

    • All of the above are continually in progress and ongoing discussions, but the fact that I’ve brought them up in therapy and with close friends has been (to me) a mark of success.

  • commit to building relationships in the Church

    • Ongoing

  • solo travel to a new country again

    • keep countries visited > age

      • Visited Colombia

      • Will be traveling to Sweden for work at Spotify (as well as Barcelona, again).

  • write more

    • Does this count? lol.

what I won’t do

  • withdraw any cryptocurrency or index funds

    • Holding pat, even in current economic situation

  • lyft/uber sober. make time a priority

    • Consciously apply this, though I still do Uber/Lyft sober occasionally. I’m very happy with my progress on this one.

  • be disappointed if I fail.

    • Not beating myself up on this, even though I ended up doing most of the “what I won’t do”s.

nutty stretch goals

  • pitch four 0 ERA innings in a row, between a maximum of two games

    • No, but we made the playoffs. I call that a win. I am having a horrendous season at the plate, but am contributing defensively, so I don’t feel like I’m complete dead weight to my team.

  • find a way to perform

    • Somewhat done through visual arts and media

2021 quick thoughts to myself

what I did/am doing (2021)

  • moved to New York City

    • BillyB

      • still learning to fully commit to the community

    • accepted into Norwood Club, Select, Parlor Social

      • maintaining Select and Parlor Social going forward

  • found a new therapist (recognized how much in-person sessions benefit me and thus won’t be seeing my therapist in SF)

  • consistently returning to the gym

    • crossed 25 Peloton rides since Aug

    • 100+ goal for 2022

  • joined a new baseball team

    • hit a ball the furthest i’ve hit one with a wooden bat

    • working on hip flexor mobility

  • started following F1

  • cooking 3+ meals a week without instructions

    • cooking for others/hosting dinners

  • developed 11 rolls of film

    • started shooting Super8

  • started new job

  • FY net profitable on sportscards

  • rejoined the Church

  • furthered my understanding on LGBTQ+ and being an ally

what I didn’t do

  • date someone

  • get COVID (four days left, fingers crossed)

  • write as much as I wanted to

  • max out my 401k

  • effectively plan out my diet/food habits

  • pitch as well as I wanted to

    • - leg and - core strength for stamina, + arm/shoulder durability

  • read a book a month

  • fully align my closet with a specific style (dark americana/prep?)

  • get a skincare routine down

what I want to do (2022)

  • take subjective risks

    • go on (a) date(s)

    • push my body to reach maximums in the gym

    • intentionally meet someone new every month

  • decide on whether I want to pursue an MBA

    • international (INSEAD, LBS, HEC?)

    • do I even want to consider domestic?

  • specific conscious savings

    • start putting money into the family 529

    • consciously start to save for a future wedding ring (? lmao)

    • spend less than $700 on drinks/food a month

  • be my best self in Italy (June 2022)

    • bring a +1 to Italy wedding

    • Lose 20lbs (tracking since Aug ‘21)

    • mentally, physically, emotionally at a peak

    • record Italy in film, both 35MM, 120MM, and Super 8

  • narrow down the card collection

    • Soto, Curry, Griffey, Leclerc/Ferrari

  • get to know my neighbors and doormen/women

    • really i just want them to know that i care for them and value them

      • tbd on how to show this

  • continue active effort into further understanding the following concepts, (continue work w therapist, close friends on these)

    • feminism from a male pov

    • wealth privilege

    • male privilege

    • why i so often feel the need to be contrarian

  • call my living grandparents at least once a month

    • record stories via Storyworth (?)

  • commit to building relationships in the Church

  • solo travel to a new country again

    • keep countries visited > age

  • start acting again?

    • commercials/tv episodes extra

  • write more

what I won’t do

  • withdraw any cryptocurrency or index funds

  • gatekeep interests of others

  • binge eat when inebriated

  • argue with strangers on the internet over sports

  • lyft/uber sober. make time a priority

  • be disappointed if I fail.

nutty stretch goals

  • end up in the NYT for something positive

    • Modern Love

    • Opinion

    • tbd

  • pitch four 0 ERA innings in a row, between a maximum of two games

  • start a scholarship?

  • find a way to perform

the annual sit-n-write

tldr; i spent the fall fishing for lobs instead of fishing for jobs. it was cold and physically taxing.

The horizon, shrouded between the darkness of night and the waves of the Atlantic, is nigh impossible to distinguish before dawn. Outside of an occasional beam from a distant lighthouse and the constellations twinkling above, there is nothing shining into the expanse of cold darkness lying before me. The hum of pickup trucks crescendos into a screeching halt, and insulated by hot coffee and wool sweaters, fishermen arrive at the pier. Their breath's condensation lingers in the frigid air as we climb into skiffs and motor to our vessels moored in deeper water.

Ignition. The larger beasts awaken. Brilliance emits from the headlights. The radio echoes its country tunes into the silence, and my nostrils are awoken by the wretched cocktail of dead fish and ammonia. The day has begun.

_________________________________________________________________________

I grew up in Washington, under the shadow of the Issaquah Salmon Hatchery. The basics of food systems were ingrained in me from a young age, thanks to the Salmon Days festival, and my parents nurtured me with varieties of seafood. It wasn't until my family visited our former neighbors in Boston that my craving for lobster began. Since then, the spiny, clawed Homarus americanus quickly became the star of seafood in my life, and has maintained its ranking at the pinnacle of my personal Seafood Power Rankings.

COVID-19 took a swipe at my career, and like many, I toyed with the idea of other career paths. I've always been fascinated by the supply chain of goods. I love seafood. What would an adventure of fishing, film photography, and frosty temperatures look like? One could plausibly argue that these months encapsulated my life experience. A little unstructured, mostly spontaneous, and definitely unique (or so I thought).

Within a span of a week in September, I told my parents my idea. I'd become a lobsterman for a season, earn enough to keep me financially stable, and enjoy the fall colors. I exhausted my usual resources and ended up using Furnished Finder to land a room, a tool initially developed for traveling nurses. Obviously not a nurse, it took a bit of convincing and haggling to find a room. Luckily, finding the job was surprisingly easy.

Imagine a Craigslist job posting in its most stereotypical form. No name attached, a small picture of a boat, 10 digits to call, and exactly 12 words in lowercase —

"help wanted on lobster boat. must have drivers license unless in area"

I rang the number, the captain picked up, said "Ayuh, call me the day before you're ready to go out." It was that simple.

To some, the housing and job situations seemed sketchy, but to me, that's embracing the adventure. I hurriedly packed a suitcase and shuttled myself across the country to Arundel, ME. The day I arrived at my house, I gave my captain a call, and he told me to be at the docks the next day at 3:30am with a packed lunch and lots of energy.

Energy? I can bring it.

Packed lunch? Easy.

3:30am? Not my strong suit, but I can go to bed early, right?

Nope. My Seahawks were selected to play Sunday Night Football against the Patriots that first night. That thrilling matchup ended with my adrenaline surging through my body at about 12:30am ET. That also meant that my first day on the boat would be completed at the intersection of Sleepdeprived Street and Fivehourenergy Avenue.

3:00am — An Android alarm can only be snoozed for so long. After slogging my way out of bed, I don a thermal shirt, layer with another shirt, layer again, and layer a hoodie over that. My captain told me to wear multiple layers that I'll never want to wear again outside of lobstering. Early mornings in October can drop to the mid 30s. In the heart of fall and winter it drops lower. Lord, have mercy.

Mark Twain famously said, "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

I had just finished four years in the Bay Area and I believe I am qualified to make this distinction. I'm sorry, Mr. Twain — the coldest winter one can spend is not a summer in San Francisco, but almost assuredly is an early morning in deep fall, off the coast of Maine.

After commuting down to the docks at Cape Porpoise and throwing on my rubber boots, I run into the other early risers. Captain John greets me with an "ayuh." Cliff, an experienced sternman will join us once every other week, and is here to teach me the ropes. Most days, it'd end up being just me and my captain, floating the skiff out to his boat, moored in the darkness.

4:00am — Showtime. The lights on the South Wind IV illuminate, and the engine is revving. Other fishing vessels also begin their days and form a line for the loading dock.

After bringing the boat dockside, I wheel out the most abhorrent, repulsive, foul-smelling dead fish you will ever smell festering inside large, blue 55gal drums. I honestly thought I knew what rotten fish smelled like — I can confidently say that I did not. It reeked. I cannot verbalize how bad this smelled.

We hoist one drum full of redfish, one full of skate, and one split between haddock and pogies. I also grab a few buckets full of bagged pig fatbacks onto the boat.

4:15am — We sail out about 10mi east, and the radio blares WPOR 101.9, "Today's Country!" On our way to the trawls of pots, I throw on my Grundens bib and a pair of thin rubber gloves. As the manageable waves bump us from side to side, I reach my arms into the vats of dead fish. Each of the 20 spudgers will have a pogie, a skate, two redfish, another skate, some haddock, and then the fatback bag, in that specific order. The skates and fatbacks will last a long time, while the redfish and haddock will usually be eaten quickly, or wither away in the briny sea.

5:15am — The sun slowly awakens, a couple hours too late if you ask me. The temperature climbs from freezing to a manageable chill.

By using a computer system, John is able to find a general vicinity of where his 800 traps lie. He's reached the maximum number of lobster traps a commercial fisherman can lay out is but we'll only harvest 200 a day. Sitting on silt and bookended by two buoys 300ft above them are the metal traps full of crustacean gold. A lobster trap is about 2'x2'x4' and will weigh 50-60lbs. Historically the traps were made of wood, but ones today are made of meshed wire. Our trawls are marked by buoys with a red top, white middle, and neon green bottom, though it's significantly harder to find them if the sun isn't up yet, or when there's a swell.

After identifying one of our trawls, I (attempt to) snag the buoy out of the water with a mooring hook and attach it to the winch. If I miss, it'll take another minute or two to turn the vessel around, and that can be costly. The winch begins furiously pulling up the rope covered in grime, while I scrub the buoy of moss.

Creaking and squeaking, our pully can't bring the trap all the way onto the boat. I reach over the starboard edge, and essentially power-clean the trap onto our boat, ensuring the trap's rope doesn't get entangled in the winch. I'll turn the trap to fit on the edge of our boat and open it up.

On a good day, there may be a lobster or ten in a trap. On a bad day, there will be a lobster or ten in an entire trawl. John tosses the undersized lobsters, any lobster with eggs, and any lobster that has a notch in the tail back into the ocean. We make a v-shaped notch in the tail flippers of egg-bearing female lobsters that we catch. The tail remains marked even after she has hatched her eggs, so future lobstermen can quickly identify that this is a breeding lobster. The efforts to increase lobster sustainability were a welcome surprise. We'll keep our crustacean friends who have carpaces measuring 3.25in to 5in, claws or not, and throw them into a drum.

As he sorts through the lobster catch, I rebait the trap with the spudger, tie the bait onto a thread, and ensure that none of the bait is able to be eaten from outside the trap. My Cub Scout knowledge was lost in the years, so I had to relearn the basic half-hitch and full-hitch knots. When the trap is rebaited, I lug the trap and carry it to the back half of the boat, where I'll line the traps up in a row of five. It's crucial to keep the traps lined up with the rope end facing out, so they're able to fall off the stern in order. By the time I've carried the iron cage to the stern and lined it up, another trap is waiting to be pulled up on the side of the boat. I curse to myself, knowing that I'm behind schedule and tiring already.

The most dangerous part of lobstering is watching the rope. After pulling and rebaiting 20 traps, then moving them to the stern, we hit the gas and start moving to the next trawl. If your foot gets caught in the rope as the lobster traps are drawn back into the ocean, you will be pulled in, you will be brought to the bottom of the ocean, and you will perish. By the time the boat is turned around, the winch is hooked up and the rope is pulling you back in, you'll have drowned in the frigid waters. So, when the captain says we're going, you step away from the rope, and watch as the buoy, anchors, and traps are pulled back into the water.

An experienced sternman will be able to accomplish an entire trawl from buoy-pull to trap-set in about 20 mins. I have no comment on how long a trawl takes little ol' me.

6:00am to 6:15am — Even after a couple trawls, I'm huffing and puffing. We sail 10 minutes to the next trawl and I wish I could use this time to rest, but I need to rebait the spudgers, and then rubber-band the lobsters. The rebaiting stinks (literally and figuratively), but I enjoy the banding. Lobsters have a larger crusher claw, and a smaller scissor claw, and each claw is banded with a biodegradable rubber band. The lobsters are thrown into a tank and I'll shout out the count once no more remain, to which John will nod and give me another, "Ayuh." If "the lobs are crawlin'" and it's been a good trawl, we may pull 40+ keepers. I've also had dead trawls where we get no more than 5 keepers over the 20 traps. It can be hit or miss, as the season, tides, and other factors (Hurricane Teddy) mess with our trawls.

2:00pm — We repeat this process for the ten trawls, and then (finally) sail back to port. I organize the lobsters into crates. Each crate carries 90lbs of the crustaceans. We'll typically catch 4 crates of lobster, or around 300 total lobsters in a day. I've heard legends of up to 40 crates during ridiculous days, in which the entire tank underneath the deck is used to house lobsters instead of keeping them in tanks above deck, but that didn't happen while I was there. Once crated, I clean the stern of the boat, move the winch, and brush the deck. Yo-ho, yo-ho, a sternman's life for me.

2:45pm — When we reach our port, we beeline to the station they call the "Lobster Car". This is a wholesale buyer (but part of the same family's operation) who divides the catch by softshell and hardshells, and then measures our catch into exactly 90lbs per crate. COVID took a very large toll on this industry. The demand isn't there because there are no restaurants to buy the lobsters, and the prices are lower as a result. Softshell lobsters went about $4.50/lb this season, and hardshells may be around $6.50/lb. The captain is paid in cash and sternmen get a percentage of the cut.

The lobsters end up being driven to a warehouse a mile from the pier. Mentioned before, this entire operation is a family affair, which I find fascinating. It's owned by three brothers, two of which (incl. John) are full-time lobstermen and have lived this life the past 40+ years. The third brother runs the bait supply and lobster distribution. He works with suppliers up and down the east coast to get the redfish, herring, haddock, skate, pogies, etc., and then store them in freezers. The same operation will operate the Lobster Car, and will buy the lobsters from the fishermen. They then sell the lobsters anywhere in the world, with free overnight shipping. They have a few trucks that they drive up and down the east coast, dropping off lobsters as needed. These types of operations and co-ops are common throughout the commercial lobstering industry.

3:30pm — By this time, I'm exhausted, but am back onshore. I walk over to the pier's seafood shack (owned by, you guessed it, the family's company) and order the seafood chowder, and if I'm feeling vengeful, a lobster roll. This is by far the highlight of my day. The silky chowder with bits of haddock, lobster, and scallops nourishes my weary soul. There is no better chowder nor lobster roll in the world and you cannot convince me otherwise.

I'd like to say the days get easier over time, but they only partially do. At the end of the work day, my arms have no strength left, my shoulders hurt, my fingers have been pinched, and my back is aching. Oddly enough, my mind is alert and awake. Do you remember taking finals in college and being mentally exhausted after taking them, and maybe going on a run to release stress? This is the opposite of that. I am physically broken, but wouldn't mind reading a book.

I drive home, questioning why I chose to do this, and filling my car with the stench of rotten fish. My host immediately begs me to shower and wash my clothes, to which I oblige. Even after being washed immediately, my clothes will still smell of dead fish and seawater. John was right; I will no longer wear these clothes outside of fishing. I'll pull my hoodie and jeans out of the dryer, and toss them in a corner in my room where they won't stink up the rest of my clothes in drawers.

6:30pm sharp — When half past six rolls around, the weather reports are released and my captain calls me if we're going out the next day. I'll make dinner, and try to be in bed by 8pm, unless the Seahawks are playing, in which case I'll head out to buy a Five Hour Energy, knowing I'll later regret this decision. For some reason, they were slotted into Sunday/Monday/Thursday Night Football more often than usual. This was extremely detrimental to my sleep.

The life of a lobsterman is arduous and my respect for the men and women working in this industry has skyrocketed. My back and shoulders were consistently sore, my wrists hurt, and my sleep schedule was so far off that I was waking up when my friends on the west coast are going to bed. It's hard labor, icy mornings, and long hours, and then the reward is all dependent on a catch you can't really control. Add being a year-round profession, and the fact they'll only stop for high winds and/or hurricanes? It's a rough going.

Comparing to "regular" life — In 2021, I've begun a new job back within the familiar confines of Excel worksheets, but the contrast of working as a lobsterman vs. as a financial analyst lives daily in my head. During my time in Maine, I asked my captain and other sternmen if they had heard of Airbnb or Accenture, to which they all said no. I received exactly zero work-related emails. There were no SQL queries, pivot tables, nor business cases during my time lobstering. There were no Zoom calls, and certainly no Powerpoint presentations. It's obviously a completely different environment, and it was pleasantly refreshing to escape the world of corporate America.

Off the boat, I had a blast in Maine and highly recommend visiting to anyone. The pristine coastline during New England falls is unmatched, and the driving the Kancamagus was a joy. I took too many film pictures and ate too few lobsters, even at one a day. In my free time, I enjoyed writing to my middle-school teachers to thank them for their investment in me, and reading up on the science behind the Enneagram personality test. I also got rear-ended resulting in my rental car being totaled, and had ridiculous lobster feasts with extended family. To say my fall Down East was eventful would be downplaying it.

I hope my experience highlights these incredibly tough, generational businesses run by resilient men and women. I have the utmost respect for the people involved in the consumable supply chain industries. Lobsters are expensive, but they are delicious.

If you have questions about my experience, or want an easy lobster recipe, I'd love to chat!

If you enjoyed this, please give Luna Soley's essay in The Outside a read. She is an unbelievable student-writer who shared a similar experience.